Howdy everyone,

So, in light of the fact that I'm feeling okay about my [ profile] spn_j2_bigbang progress, I have decided to throw in my hat for the [ profile] help_nz charity auction. My offer is for Dean/Cas fic (porn, or whatever, you name the terms) of at least 2000 words. Minimum bid is $3 USD, so please check out my thread and support a good cause!

Click here to view my thread and place a bid!

ETA: I've had a thinky-think and have decided to match the winning bid on this story. So far we're up to $33, so if you feel like subjecting me to the kind of financial terror I had when Misha ran 83km ($5/km, that was a real smooth idea, Nanner), go all out and watch me squirm. :D
Whee, I hit the 15, 000 word mark! I'm in the middle of a porn scene, so that'll probably go up a bit by the time I'm done (or by the time someone's done, at any rate), but nevertheless I felt like this was a landmark worth sharing. :)

15000 / 20000 (75.00%)

However, since it's unlikely that I'll be finished at 20, 000 words, the counter should probably look more like this:

15000 / 40000 (37.50%)
So, durr. Back to work.
Hello again,

Just to make things even more confusing, I've decided to create a second Twitter account,
@nanoochka, to keep my fandom/personal tweets separate from the posts I made to @infohead_desk. Since I've got a fair number of RL friends on there, I'd like the two not to cross-pollinate (they don't know about my slashy ways lol). Hopefully this one is a lot more recognizable to you, so please add me back! I'm doing my best to add everyone who followed me on the other account.

Hey y'all,

I've finally given in to the pressure and created a Twitter account. I'm still figuring it out how it works, but I wanted a way to keep track of all the dumbass reference questions I get asked on a daily basis at work. There won't really be much about my writing or personal life, but hopefully it'll be good for a laugh.

So, if you're keen, follow me! I can be found
Team Free Will = Triangle of Man-Love.

That is all.

TITLE: "When Play Turns Bitter - Chapter Twelve (Part 2): In This Twilight"
AUTHOR: [ profile] nanoochka
RATING: NC-17 for language, violence and graphic descriptions of sex.
PAIRING: Dean/Castiel, Dean/OMC, Sam/OFC, mentions of Dean/Lisa and Cas/Balthazar
SUMMARY: “You’re happy with your world/ But there is something small in the back of your head/ Your concerns are still free/ You fall into the trap/ Without knowing what you want/ And there’s nothing left but a foolish idea/ Everything goes back into place.” Remember that play turns sour when playing with a fire; but Dean is as tired of pretending like his life hasn’t begun, as he is waiting for Castiel to notice.More, after the cut! )

TITLE: "When Play Turns Bitter - Chapter Twelve (Part 1): In This Twilight"
AUTHOR: [ profile] nanoochka
RATING: NC-17 for language, violence and graphic descriptions of sex.
PAIRING: Dean/Castiel, Dean/OMC, Sam/OFC, mentions of Dean/Lisa and Cas/Balthazar
SUMMARY: “You’re happy with your world/ But there is something small in the back of your head/ Your concerns are still free/ You fall into the trap/ Without knowing what you want/ And there’s nothing left but a foolish idea/ Everything goes back into place.” Remember that play turns sour when playing with a fire; but Dean is as tired of pretending like his life hasn’t begun, as he is waiting for Castiel to notice.More, after the cut! )
So... Just finished Chapter Twelve of When Play Turns Bitter. With the beta now, post soon hopefully.

11, 078 words, WHAT THE HELL.

I am truly all written-out for the day, so I'll leave you with some Daniel Faraday to describe my current state.

In the spirit of my [ profile] spn_j2_bigbang AU, I thought I'd share this video of the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. My new life plan has officially expanded to include, "Purchase a lake and build a wave garden." I'm sure "Learn to surf" is on there too, don't worry.

If you're a big geek like me, you can check out more videos at If you already happen to be in possession of a lake, I expect this to be installed immediately. I shall await my invitation in the mail.
So, this is sort of apropos of nothing, but I wanted to make a post regarding When Play Turns Bitter. I know I have been awful about updating - I probably spoiled everyone with the once-a-week thing, heh - but I am still working on Chapter Twelve, albeit slowly. Ironically, it's pretty much all finished except for that one damn chapter (hell, even the chapter is almost done - I have over 7000 words of it written, and there's just this wee hump at the end that's giving me grief), and I have no other reason for stalling than, well... it's sad. And I've had a lot of bad news lately in my personal circle, including my best friend having cancer, so it's been a) difficult to concentrate on something so emotionally wrenching and b) beneficial to my mood to take a break with writing happy things. We like happy things, right?

Anyway, I know it's only been a few weeks, but that's the story with my WIP. I will finish, I promise, and thanks so much to the regular readers for being so patient and supportive of the process. I've been having an overactive Catholic guilt thing happening with how long I've been keeping you waiting, especially after I established the expectation of weekly updates, but rest assured I haven't given up. I just need to get my shit together a bit more before I can do it justice, since I can't justify posting something that feels sloppy or rushed, just for the sake of hitting the finish line a bit faster.

So, yeah. Sorry, I guess? It'll be a little while longer, but don't give up on me yet. And while it might not be Kurt, my [ profile] d_hearts_c entry is due this week, and after [ profile] fossarian and [ profile] tracy_loo_who helped me pretty it up real nice, I'm really excited to post it. There is lots of AU cuteness and food porn. :)

In the meantime, you should go listen to the new Radiohead album, okay? It'll make everything better.


Feb. 18th, 2011 02:28 pm
Somehow managed to finish Chapter Two of my [ profile] spn_j2_bigbang entry last night. I don't know how this happened, but I sort of expect it to backfire on me really quickly, either through my inability to finish, or by exploding the total wordcount (I doubt it'll end at 20k).

9152 / 20000 45.76% Done!

It's time.

Feb. 16th, 2011 03:47 pm

6997 / 20000 34.99% Done!

That's right. Time to be totally counterproductive as I update my [ profile] spn_j2_bigbang wordcount tracker every 2 minutes.
I'm sort of bored at work and trying not to check my phone obsessively for messages from the bestie, so let's talk about political affiliations instead. Doesn't that sound fun?

Actually, I'm just going to post the results of a quiz I found on [ profile] takadainmate's LJ, which you can do for yourself here.

It's just me and Ghandi here on the left, bb's (does that mean haters to the right?). Green is my political affiliation of choice, usually, unless there happens to be a Liberal candidate that's slightly less of a fuckwit than the others (realistically, it's only ever going to be them or the Conservatives in power, so sometimes I like to feel less like I'm voting passive-aggressively) and it's sort of satisfying to know that you've been voting for the appropriate party this whole time. Except, of course, for those times that I just spoil my vote, but I usually reserve such behaviour for municipal elections involving homophobic asshole mayors. Oh hey, Rob Ford.

TITLE: “Generals”
AUTHOR: [ profile] nanoochka
PAIRING: Dean/Castiel, Dean/Castiel/Balthazar, implied past-Castiel/Balthazar
RATING: NC-17 for extremely graphic descriptions of sex.
WARNINGS: Dub-con, double penetration, mild D/S (or can be interpreted as such)
SUMMARY: At the forefront of Dean’s memories is the feel of Castiel’s hands and the knowledge of his body; but as Dean quickly learns, his touch isn’t the only one that Castiel remembers.Down the rabbit hole with you! )
I want to share a blog link I stumbled across recently about one gay man's experience in the porn industry, specifically for Sean Cody.

Now, obviously gay porn is a significant part of fandom, especially as a slash writer, and I won't deny that it's something I take a personal interest in both as a viewer and as a commentator. We all take our cues from somewhere, so it's interesting to consider, from time to time, the behind-the-scenes aspect of the gay porn industry - call it a meta approach to porn. There's no shortage of commentary out there about the straight porn industry which can cover everything from its injustices and exploitation practices, to issues about the male gaze, to how it's become a lot more mainstream in Western culture in the last decade or so. (Hell, I myself own a pair of Miu Miu's that could pass for stripper shoes any day of the week.) It seems to me like gay pornography - and here I'm talking specifically about gay male pornography, because writing "lesbian pornography" just makes me want to put quotes around the word 'lesbian', and f/f pornography for actual women is still a very emergent niche, even with the growth of the porn-for-women industry - is both a very different animal and the same old story, but there's a less discussion about it in the media, either because it just hasn't come under the same widespread scrutiny as straight porn, or because people assume that it's just the same old story. I don't know.

Either way, I've tried to cobble together a few interesting links which discuss some of the less-well-known, or less-considered aspects of gay male porn, including a blog from a former Sean Cody model about what it's like to be an actual gay man in a gay-for-pay industry.

Devon Hunter's blog: "Know Before You Go"
- Devon's experiences modeling for uber-porn director Sean Cody. It's a surprising - and funny! - read with a lot of really interesting insights into the industry and its relationship to actual gay men.

Gay 4 Pay in Prague by Iva Skoch
- Great article about the porn industry in Europe, specifically Prague. Naturally Bel Ami features heavily.

Lance Bennett bottoms for the first time - stolen from [ profile] bauble. This video is graphic and very NSFW, but is nevertheless an interesting shot of a gay-for-pay actor bottoming for the first time. It's surprisingly intense and probably a lot hotter than most edited porn I've seen, and yet it's still fascinating to watch him go from angry to mindblown as the other guy starts pushing the right, erm... buttons. The "hungry hungry hippos hole" line made me LOL, and there's a facepalm moment at the end when he asks, "Does this make me gay?" Shut up, Lance.

Arpad Miklos Conquers Pussy Victoriously
- NSFW, kinda. Gay pornstar Arpad turns the tables and goes straight-for-pay. Woman says it's the best sex she's ever had.

And finally, Jasun Mark talking about how straight actors needs to butch it up when doing gay porn. I find it really interesting that straight male actors will sometimes act more feminine when having sex with a guy, because that's what they've learned from straight porn and women in the sex industry. Actually, all of Jasun's YouTube vids are worth a watch.

ETA: I also forgot to add this article from the Daily Beast that I read a while ago: The Lesbians Who Love Male Gay Porn. It's pretty thought provoking, although one point that's raised - about how some lesbians like gay porn because they don't have to think about the politics and sexism involved in straight porn (be it m/f or f/f porn for men) - gave me pause; as much as I understood the point, I thought it wasn't fair to dismiss the politics and sexism and homophobia also inherent to the male gay porn industry, which shouldn't be undervalued in comparison to misogyny. But anyway, still a good read.

I'll be less meta tomorrow, promise.


Feb. 2nd, 2011 01:46 pm
 Holy shit, John Cooper.

What the hell is with the last two episodes of Southland making me want to kill myself?
The other night I had two of my dearest friends in the world round my flat for some drinks and Xbox funtimes, and at some point Luke brought up this question he'd found somewhere on the internet. It's likely that everyone else has seen this by now, because I'm often last to the gate, but it was such a good discussion-starter that I thought I'd share.

Which ONE of these ten magical items would you choose? Why?
  1. A pot that can produce 1,000 kilograms of any food a day.
  2. A bracelet that keeps weather perfect wherever you go and within a 250 kilometre radius.
  3. A necklace that allows you to touch books and instantly absorb knowledge from them, without reading.
  4. An unlimited bottle of perfume that will make you wildly attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re gay), which cannot be used on anyone you love.
  5. A watch that allows you to reverse time by a minute or less per day.
  6. A bell that when rang fixes any one object at a time, excluding living things, within a minute.
  7. A chocolate bar, with twelve pieces, that makes anyone who eats a single piece invincible and youthful until the age of 160.
  8. A no fuel required, maintenance free, eight person van that can take you anywhere on the planet within one second.
  9. A remote control that allows you and another person to change, superficially, into anyone you want; the effect lasts until you decide to revert.
  10. An immortal dog that poops out one gold coin every time it goes to the bathroom.
At the time, I said that I would likely choose #8, because I love to travel and never get to do enough of it due to time/financial constraints, but I'm still hung up on #7 (as, I suspect, would anyone). Apparently the condition is that you can a) share the chocolate or b) eat all twelve pieces yourself and live to the age of 1920, but I still dunno. Outliving my loved ones is a major phobia of mine, and I suppose I could then share the rest of the chocolate bar with them, but choosing who to let live would be hard, as would knowing everyone's expiry date. Plus I'm sure there'd be some kind of cult inquest if 12 people who knew each other dropped dead on the same day. Regarding #3 - Luke said he was surprised I didn't choose that one, but what kind of writer would want to absorb a book's information without being able to READ it? It'd make my job kind of redundant.

Did anyone else automatically think about changing into Jensen or Misha regarding #9? I did. I don't know how I'd be able to leave the house afterward, though, or step away from the mirror.

Anyway, I hope this is as entertaining to someone else as it was to me; but then again, I've been up since 6am and haven't finished my coffee yet.
I have to do some reccing that may seem, inadvertently, like self-reccing, but trust me, I only have eyes for [info]daggomus_prime.

Her Awesomeness and I have been in discussion about artwork for When Play Turns Bitter over the past little while, and last night the first piece got posted. The scene depicts Dean and Kurt's first meeting at the bar, and... whoa. I had to get up at 5am just to go look at it, because I was that excited, and now I just can't stop staring at it for all its awesomeness. This is the best feeling ever, because I am a) way overattached to this story and b) way overattached to my OMC, but I couldn't have translated this scene more perfectly if I were an artist myself, she just nailed it so hard.

So, gushing aside (though there'll probably be more), please go check out the artwork. And then read the fic. If you want. (XD) But mostly go look at the artwork.

(Preview image links to Dag's journal)


Jan. 28th, 2011 07:41 pm
For anyone has ever wondered what getting a tattoo feels like, let me just say that it can hurt a hell of a lot less than getting a massage.

Also, what the fuck?



April 2011



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